The Term, Emotional Abusive Relationship defines the attempts to control someone you are in relation with. Either it can psychological or emotional abuse to rule you for everything. That relation can be your spouse, love partner, parents, business partner or colleague, brother or sister, etc. It doesn’t matter who is it but what matters is how it can impact your mental status.
The person will criticize, humiliate, blame, embarrass & manipulate you according to his or her convenience. Which will hurt your self-esteem and pull you down which will bump your mindset.
How to identify you are in an Emotional Abusive Relationship?
Many of the times you can’t detect have an Emotional Abusive Relationship with a spouse, family, or any other person. And, if you are also facing this then you need to analyze behavior and interaction with that person.
There are some signs to understand whether you are facing this and for how long. And if these signs are positive in the relationship then you must be in an abusive relationship. Here below are the signs that will help you to identify about your abusive relationship is positive or negative.
This is a very common sign of an abusive relationship to have insensible and impractical expectations. Some of the below are the examples for it: –
- Expecting to fulfil their unrealistic demands
- Demanding to spend all your time with them
- They can expect you to leave everything aside to chase and meet their desire
- Embarrass you after completing the task as per their basic
- Unsatisfactory status even after doing every possible thing for them
- Expect you to remember everything including the schedule and routine activities on clock sharp.
- Forced to keep your opinion as it is to them
A Psychological and emotionally abusive person may try to overrule you for everything. You may check the below examples for that.
- The person will not understand and accept your feelings.
- Need to explain your feelings over and again
- Refuse to accept your thoughts and ideas is valid for anything or everything.
- Implicate you for your too sensitive and emotional behaviour
- Ignore your wishes, desire and requests by invalidating them
- Implicated you as selfish if you share your feelings and want from that person
Emotional Blackmailing you
The person can blackmail you for their desire and wants. Below are some examples to understand.
- Outrage you in gathering or public places
- The Person may try to get control over you by making you feel guilty and wrong
- You may feel getting punished with prohibiting emotions, silence mode and ignoring attitude
- The person may try to use your fears, values and weaknesses in the situations to control you
The person can attack your brain with silly and crazy chaos. Understand with below examples
- Doing Arguments on silly mistakes.
- Sudden Mood swings on and off situations
- Unpredictable behaviour that will make you lose your self-confidence
- Teasing activities to tease or hurt you
Self-Thinking of Perfection
The person presents you that he or she is so perfect and always make superior decisions. You may check the example to understand this attitude.
- Make fun of you all the time
- Treating you like you are minor
- Blame you even they are wrong for every situation
- They make sarcastic interaction
- The Person will behave like he or she is always correct and is the best
- Offense your opinions, ideas and decisions
What kinds of Emotional Abusive Relationships you may be in?
You may feel or see different forms of emotional abuse in your relationship. And you need to understand this to deal in the right way.
- Jealousy, possessiveness, and complaint of cheating
- Curbed Behaviour
- Restrain attention and affection
- No reasons arguments
- Try to overrule you
- Isolate you from your friends and family
- Verbal abuse or silly names
- No participation in a quality relationship
The Abuser may behave so normal, loving and caring at the beginning of the relationship but later abuser will use the tricks to get control over you and your emotions. Always, try to manipulate according to his/her desires and moods which will make you weak with time and will leave try to correct the situation. You need to understand these behaviours at the initial stage in small things and try to control and stop implemented on you.
How Emotional Abusive Relationship can impact you?
If the Emotional abuse is severe and on-going for a long time, then there is a complete chance of losing the self-esteem of the victim. The victim may have hidden and unbearable wounds that can’t be expressive to anyone. The feeling of having guilt, doubts, unworthy and alone may kill the victim from time to time.
Emotional Abusive Relationship may have abuser male or female both but in research, it is found that maximum ratio of the abuser is male than female. Females also can be the abuser but in a very small ratio. In research, it is analysed that man is always trying to control woman either as spouse, father, brother or any other relationship.
As a result of research, it is said that emotional abuse is more severe than physical abusive relationship. Physical violence and wounds are visible to others, but the hidden pain of getting insulted, ignored, restrained is too painful. The victim loses their self-esteem and self-love. They stop sharing and fight for their pain and sit idle in all situations.
And if you find someone near you is an Emotional Abusive Relationship, then you have the responsibility to pull them back from that mud. Share the positive vibes and friendship to make them feel normal and even special. Else the Emotional Abusive may cause the health issues like anxiety & depression, insomnia, eating or mental disorders, heart attacks etc. We can participate by helping the victim to save.
How to deal with an Emotional Abusive Relationship?
As we discussed above the Emotional Abuse is even more dangerous than Physical Abuse, then you need to start working to deal with it. But, the question comes how? The answer is to recognize that you are in an Emotional Abusive relationship and aspects of it to deal with. You can begin to get control over your life again with the following tips to deal with an Emotional Abusive Relationship.
You are special, not to the abuser but for yourself. You need to give a priority to yourself towards your mental as well as physical health. This is time to stop pleasing the abuser for his requirement even you are sick. Think for your need and desire and give time to make yourself, which will give you inner happiness and peace.
You should spend your time doing things you like and give you the confidence of having your existence. Self-care will help to heal up your pain given by the abuser and you will get your self-confidence back.
Stop Criticize Yourself
If you found yourself Emotional Abusive relationship for an amount of time then that doesn’t mean that you the culprit. Your mistake is that you accepted to get abused and this is time to make it correct. Don’t criticize yourself for anything as you are absolutely perfect and genuine to the abuser but he didn’t respect your presence.
Make your Boundaries
Time has come, when you can tell the abuser now his ignorance, blames and insult will not bother you anymore. And ask, how it feels to the abuser if you will call their names, criticize, or insult them in situations. And, even then abuser might try to get control over you with arguments then better you leave that place and let them speak a shit for an amount of time. This will make you realize your importance and respect.
Escape your Engagement
You are in a committed or knotted relationship but that doesn’t mean you are tied up with the abuser every time. You should spend time with yourself also and even you should avoid engaging your time with the abuser. And, if the abuser tries to interact with you for arguments or insults or demand an unreal thing better don revert to explain your emotions and feel sorry for the mistake you haven’t make.
The simple solution is to leave the abuser alone in that place and go from there instead of engaging with explanations. Because your explanations and discussions will not make you right from the abuser’s point of view.
Accept Reality of Unchanged
You made lots of efforts to make you right and make the relationship smooth but you fail to do that. Then, what will change now? Actually, nothing because the abuser has this attitude of not accepting you and your efforts. Better accept the reality that the abuser will not change with any further effort also better you need to change yourself for betterment.
After all, try if your partner, family, or friend is not changing a bit and always find the reason to make arguments, insult you and criticize then you can’t keep yourself in an abusive relationship forever. It will distract and disturb you all the time. You may need to put an end mark on this relationship and find a way to give a fresh start in your life. As you also deserve to live happy and independent in your life.
I hope you can identify either you are in an Emotional Abusive Relationship or not. If you are then what kind of issues you are facing and how you can deal with them. If still, you are in a phase where you need counseling, then better you connect with the best counselor available with solutions.